Brillance and all that is

A new adventure has found me. Humanity Unites Brilliance is the new A. In all my days, I would never have expected this one.

I have always been a fun-loving, adventurous, crazy, a little off-center, giver. I've volunteered. I've sent money. I've sponsored. I've organized. But I've never really been on the receiving end of any of that. Now I find myself in an organization that gives, and gives, and gives some more. The people already in the organization are the most caring, fun-loving group of people I've ever met, let alone been in the position of being associated with. And that intimidates me on a level I didn't realize I had until yesterday.

After Sunday afternoon, I feel like I have so much to learn, that I've only touched the tip of a huge ice berg. I feel like I'm aboard a train that is hurtling down the track and I'm on a wild ride sitting in a window seat, watching the landscape fly by, while eating an ice cream sundae and enjoying every minute.

These things I know about me: detail-oriented, fun-loving, adventure-seeking, journey-loving, community-building, healer. Interestingly, I know how to do everything except the "healer" part. For the last couple of years, I've known that I was a healer but didn't know what that looked like. I thought that if I just continued on this path of self-examination, it would just pop up somewhere. I know that energy moves around me but I don't know how to harness it yet or make it move "on my command". As I explore the meaning of being a healer, I am finding that my definitions of what I thought a healer was are way too small and that the expansion I find happening in my insides is somehow related to the capacity to heal. I am a healer. I love playing with toys - puzzles, toy cars, robots, anything to have fun. My work spaces have always included a bunch of toys. Toys touch that part of us that seems to go away as we become "adults". The "toys" that we choose as adults don't seem to offer us the same innocent joy that playing with a stick did when we were young. As I read more about this organization I've been blessed with, I realize that I am part of something that can heal the world. Heal it in such a way that each of us provides a speck of the humanity that can make it whole. If each of us humans is one of the puzzle pieces, the picture we make will be one so glorious I am only beginning to understand. In fact, I don't understand at all but I'm beginning to glimpse that this is what I've been placed here on this earth for. Fifty-five years in the making, this is the moment that I've been waiting all of those years for.

I realized this weekend that all my life, I have dreamed too small. I've known that planning big is what I needed to do in order to realize big but I somehow could never get any bigger than my little spot. I have thought myself insignificant in the overall picture and that my little corner was all there was of my universe. I have not thought of the world as a safe place so guarding my corner was my main "job" and making sure that no one got close enough to hurt me any more was my main priority. Well, dreaming small is not an option any more. Being open to the possibilities is.

For such a time as this. For this moment in time, we are here. And what a ride it's going to be!